MacTrump by Doescher Ian & Quercia Jacopo Della

Author:Doescher, Ian & Quercia, Jacopo Della [Doescher, Ian & Quercia, Jacopo Della]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Humour, Politics, poetry, Adult
ISBN: 9781683691600
Amazon: 1683691601
Goodreads: 45699987
Publisher: Quirk Books
Published: 2019-10-01T07:00:00+00:00

SCENE 5.

On the White Hold balcony, and on the green below.

Enter MACTRUMP, LADY MACTRUMP, DAME DESDIVANKA, LORD JARED KUSHREW, DONNISON, and ERICSON above, on balcony.

LADY M.

[aside:] The sun shall darken and our light shall dim,

So say the clerics scientifical.

Today, our blue orb shall eclipse the sun—

What meaneth this strange omen for our lives?

Shall my cold husband have his hopes eclips’d?

Shall Democrati knaves eclipse his pow’r?

Shall me and my sweet children be eclips’d?

Will darkness cover o’er us like a shroud?

Alack, methinks this is a dreadful portent,

An evil demon come to work us woe.

It is a pox, I say. A shiny pox!

How can all those around me be so calm

When ev’ry sign announces our defeat—

Our horrid fall into the darkness drear?

How can they laugh, in nondesigner eyewear,

When all around us gloomy dusk doth loom?

I must away, and hide myself anon,

E’er our sun dies before my very eyes,

A sight that I would never wish to see.

Help, someone, help! The sun is falling! Help!

[Exit Lady MacTrump, sobbing and unnoticed, into the White Hold.

MACTRUMP

’Tis certain that the realm entire doth wait

Upon this glorious event today.

A clear, good omen for my presidency,

An ’twere the heavens shouted all at once,

“MacTrump hath our approval in the heights!”

See how the people crowd around below,

Each straining to behold the lustrous sight.

Would that I were as popular as this—

A simple shadow blocking out a star.

Yet do I not shine brighter than the sun?

It is celestial, but I’m MacTrump!

I could take hold of it and make it mine—

Not fall like Icarus, the stupid chump.

Enter, on the green below, FOOLIANI surrounded by JOURNALISTS. Enter several PROTESTORS aside, including JUSTINE and MARIANNE.

JOURNALIST 1

[to Fooliani:] Excuse me, didst thou say the president

Himself takes credit for the sun’s eclipse?

FOOLIANI

Nay, merely I said it cannot be prov’n

That President MacTrump hath not design’d

This wonderful event by his own pow’r.

JOURNALIST 2

Cannot be proven?

FOOLIANI

—Prithee, show thy proof!

[Fooliani shakes his marotte. Bells jingle.

JOURNALIST 2

Nay, I have none. And yet—

FOOLIANI

—My point is shown!

The great MacTrump is so amazing that

The sun itself doth hide within his presence.

Behold him there, upon the balcony—

Our true and wondrous leader proudly stands!

MACTRUMP

[aside:] I need to urinate, yet I must wait

Until this silly pageant is complete.

DESDIVANKA

Good Father, what make you of this event?

MACTRUMP

Methinks it doth portend our great success.

[He begins staring at the sun.

DESDIVANKA

’Tis my belief as well, my liege. And yet

You should not stare directly on the sun.

MACTRUMP

They say it dims.

DESDIVANKA

—Yet ’tis still passing bright.

MACTRUMP

It darkens.

DESDIVANKA

—It shall roast your eyeballs, sir.

[She hands him sunglasses, which he puts on reluctantly. Lord Kushrew approaches them.

MACTRUMP

[to Kushrew:] What thinkest thou, Lord Kushrew?

KUSHREW

—All is bright—

The future shineth, full of expectation.

[To Desdivanka:] Art thou most sure I cannot look on it?

DESDIVANKA

[aside:] My husband is as bad as mine own father—

Are they but children, whom I must watch o’er?

[To Kushrew:] Pray, wear these, Jared.

KUSHREW

—If thou dost insist.

[All stare at the sky wearing sunglasses, except for Justine below on the green.

JUSTINE

Pray, tell me what thou seest, Marianne.

MARIANNE

My friend, today thou hast my sympathy.

Yet since thou cannot see, hear

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